Peggy led us in a gentle guided meditation and Larry gave the dharma talk on "Entering the Buddha's Mind". I took notes, feeling myself to be a bit redundant, since the talk was being recorded - but I like taking notes, it helps me pay attention and remember better. Sometimes though, Larry spoke so well I stopped writing and just listened - so my notes are not complete. And this turns out to be a pity, because the recording device didn't work and my incomplete notes are our only record of what was a very inspiring talk.
Ah well. The notes are better than nothing -
Larry Ward:
Entering into the mind of the Buddha requires that we dare enter into our own minds. Two weeks ago I was in New York City to deliver the eulogy of someone I have known for 35 years - she was a friend, a colleague and a student. I asked her husband if I could have some of her ashes to sit with in the 24 hours prior to the memorial service. Which I did. I walked around the city, holding my friend's ashes in my hand. I ended up standing on the bridge over the Hudson River on that night when the moon was the closest it had been to the earth in years.
I thought of these lines from Niko Kazantzakis, " We come from a dark abyss, we end in a dark abyss, and we call the luminous interval life. As soon as we are born the return begins, at once the setting forth and the coming back; we die in every moment." [from "The Saviors of God - Spiritual Exercises"] He says this too, "Life startles us at first."
Life startles ME again and again and again - that's my experience. IF we have the courage to be present to it.
Let me respectfully remind you that your life and death are of great importance. Each of us should strive to awaken, awaken, awaken. Do not squander your life.
The Buddha is about our human experience and how we relate to our experience of our experience which determines whether we experience liberation or suffering. I like the story of Siddhartha and the four gates. There are many stories of him, but this is the one I like best. He leaves the palace with his servant, passing through one gate and he encounters a sick man. "What's the matter with him?" he asks his servant. His servant replies, "He is sick. And that is what is going to happen to you." They leave the palace through the second gate and encounter an old man. "What's the matter with him?" His servant replies, "He is old. And that is what is going to happen to you." Through the third gate, and there is a funeral pyre and a body burning. You know what the servant says by now. "That is death. And that's what's going to happen to you!"
At the fourth gate, Siddhartha encountered a sage, whose serenity stopped the Buddha's mind. This too is a possibility for me. In this way, all of the Buddha's stories are potentially practices for us.
The Buddha created a wonderful practice I use every day. It is called the Five Remembrances, so-called so I not to forget my human experience AND my choice: how I will shape my heart and mind and direct my experience of being human.
The Five Remembrances:
1. I am of a nature to grow old.
I can't stop it! This startles me! Where does aging come from? There's no location. I know this is hard to believe, I'm speaking in L.A. after all, but aging is a natural occurrence. This doesn't mean you shouldn't look good (as my mother would say). It means, don't be confused. Some moments I'm pleased about aging, some moments I feel displeasure. And some moments I feel neutral which means I'm in delusion. That's why the present moment is the practice. In this very moment, I cannot escape growing old.
2. I am of a nature to have ill health.
I don't need to remind you of all the ways we can become ill. I teach in a hospital. At lunch one day, sitting with the doctors, I learned of fifteen new diseases that can kill you! "Why are you telling me this?!" I asked. We take it personally when we get sick, as if all the gods and goddesses of the cosmos had conspired ... to give us the flu. It's our nature to be vulnerable physically AND mentally - this is part of our experience. We are finding out, surprise, war has an impact on people! Life is not just what happens to you, life is what happens to you BECAUSE that happened to you. The happening within the happening.
Rumi writes, "Oh break my heart open, oh, break it again.
So I can learn to love even more, again."
3. I am of a nature to die.
... to VANISH. That is the word I use when I think of death. My friend has vanished. Where is she? Where is my sister? Where is my mother? My father? My friend's husband told me his wife did everything right: she meditated, she went on retreats... he said, "I thought it would be a magic elixir." There is none.
4. Everyone I love and everything I cherish is of a nature to change.
I cannot escape experiencing change. Most of us have a philosophy about relationships: if you change, the way I think you SHOULD, then we'll be good. YOU are the cause of my suffering. If you just did what I said.... Only our experience shows that then somebody changes - and we don't like the change! We don't like the outcome of the change. Change creates change. And what change it will create, I have no idea. No control!
Well, so far, this is pretty grim, isn't it? American audiences don't like to hear about old age, sickness and death - it sounds so negative! But then there's the fifth remembrance:
5. My action is the ground upon which I stand.
Meaning my action in thought, speech and body, which the Buddha borrowed from Hinduism.
It means being aware of how I relate to the other four remembrances. If they create suffering for me will depend on how I think or speak or what I do with my body in relation to these experiences.
As one of my professors said, "Pain is NOT optional - suffering IS optional." Pain is inescapable. The practice is about how I train my heart and mind not to cling or push away or be deluded by growing old, getting sick, death and change. It is about my own power to live in every moment as a free person. This life is not about Larry achieving nirvana. I won't go unless everybody else comes too. I am profoundly having the experience of being human. This is so profound it opens compassion for all other beings having this experience.
I will read you the shortest of all the Buddha's teachings, the Sabba Sutta. At that time in India, there were many spiritual teachers, a bit like L.A. now. And this is a good thing - a very good thing. We could use more. The students were always getting together and comparing what they had learned from their teachers. The monks asked the Buddha, "What do we say you are teaching us?"
"Monks, I will teach you the All. Listen & pay close attention. I will speak."
"As you say, lord," the monks responded.
The Blessed One said, "What is the All? Simply the eye & forms, ear & sounds, nose & aromas, tongue & flavors, body & tactile sensations, intellect & ideas. This, monks, is called the All. Anyone who would say, 'Repudiating this All, I will describe another,' if questioned on what exactly might be the grounds for his statement, would be unable to explain, and furthermore, would be put to grief. Why? Because it lies beyond range."
What is he teaching? The Four Noble Truths. All practices are aimed at us achieving that. If we can know the six senses - the five, plus the mind - that is all we need to know. The Buddha doesn't speak of anything outside the six senses - 'It lies beyond the range." It is conjecture. The one who fully understands the All sees the mind differently. "Mental formations" covers everything! Memories, mental habits, evolutionary biology, social conditioning, family and individual conditioning - it's loaded!
There is no pure experience. I bring my samskara [mental formations] to every experience. We don't even know how many webs we weave. In meditation, we train the self in discernment. Meditation is not an innocent practice. Our identities are created before we arrive. Just as there were streets already named before you arrived! Before you were born, there was a Sears, a Starbucks, concepts like black and white, race and nationality... In meditation, I know these categories are made up. Because of that, they don't define me. Therefore I am free to be human in this space. There is nothing more important I could do with my life than to be human in this space with you.
After the memorial service, somebody said to me, "You didn't mention heaven!"
"That's right, " I said, because they were right, I hadn't mentioned heaven.
This person followed me and asked, "But WHY didn't you mention heaven?"
"Because I have nothing to report!"
We see we become addicted to greed. It's not what I have, it's the experience of getting it that I want. The Buddha was not anti-pleasure, as some Buddhists think. But when we practice, we become attuned to our thirst and we see how it drives us towards pleasure, and ultimately, suffering. It's not that I went to the casino (if I have a gambling addiction); it's the thirst, alone in my mind, that motivated me to go to the casino.We practice so we can settle in our own hearts and minds.
I've given up being perfect. It's too much work and it's also very disappointing AND there's no such thing. There's our life. There's this moment. Anything else is speculation.
If you have the opportunity to be with someone who is taking their last breath, take it. Don't run as fast as you can in the opposite direction, as we tend to do in this country, when we hear someone we love is dying. if you can't be with a parent or friend, join a hospice. Be there. When you witness that person taking their last breath you will understand a lot about Buddhism. You will understand why breath is the key.
If you want to change society, know that society is in us. Remember the streets already named that I mentioned earlier? They are already in you.
What are you left with? The lovingkindness available in the present moment - which can't be expressed if we're not there.
Compassion - how is it cultivated? By understanding the All.
You have equanimity, evenness of mind and heart.
I have a picture of Avalokitesvara that I always keep with me. She is riding the waves of birth and death, standing on the head of the dragon, which symbolizes wisdom. She transforms tears into the nectar of healing and pours that nectar back into the world.
That is the practice of the mind of the Buddha. There is no Buddha outside of yourself. You are your own Buddha. Aren't you lucky to be here and have such a great place to practice? Be kind to one another, share your love with this planet and all beings on it, and don't be confused about the miracle of your own life. It's a true gift.
thanks Alison! this is really good, lots of food for thought. I continue to marvel at your ability to transcribe talks too :)
ReplyDeleteSailor Sue
Wonderful talk, beautifully related here.
ReplyDeleteCindy